生活中，要想得到自己想要的东西，有时需要付出本来承受不了的耐心。人们应该从不放弃希望。生活可能会不如人之所愿，但只要希望还在，终归会获得满足……
BYtheyearmyhusbandturned40andIhittheageof35,John’sparentsevidentlywereworriedaboutus.Hisolderbrotherhadproducedthreegrandchildren.Sohadhisyoungersister.Wehadproducednone.
Formyin-laws,toloveistoworry.WhenJohn’sparentsvisitedusfromNewYork,hismotherwouldgetmealoneandinquiredelicately.Afteraperfectsummerseafooddinnerattheirbeachhouse,thesamequestionswerefiredatus.Theyalwaysmadeattemptstoknowourattitude.Didn’twewantkids?Orwasthereaproblemwithourmarriage?
John’sfatherrarelysaidanything,yetIknewthatshespokeforbothofthem.Hewasare
tiredambassadorandhelikedtocallhimselfacranky(怪僻的)oldmail.ButIknewthathecared
andtheyfretted(烦忧)overustogether.
Bythenwewerewonderingtoo.Inearlieryearsthepressuretoprocreate(生育)hadmadeusrolloureyes.Inour20’sandevenintoour30’s,wewereambivalent(矛盾的)aboutthewholeideaofchildren.Wecertainlydidn’tregardthedecisionasanyone’sbusinessbutourown.Besides,whatwasthebigdeal(了不起)?Hisparentsalreadyhadsixgrandchildren.Whydidtheyneedmorefromus?
Thenonedaywerealizedthatwewererealadults—oldenoughtobesomebody’sparents.Wehadexceededtheageofyouthfulness.Suddenlywefeltreadyforachild.
Asababybecamecentraltoourhopes,Ibetterunderstoodmyin-laws’interference.Nowintheirsliveryears,theytooktheconnectionbetweentheirlateryearsoflifeandtheirchildrenandgrandchildrenfortheirgreatestpleasure.Ourchildwouldprovidebothusandthemwithalifelinetothefuture.
Yettohopedoesnotalwaysmeanreceiving.Bythetime1was35,JohnandIhadbeen“trying”forthreeyears,however,Ididnotgetpregnant.ItseemedthatMotherNature(自然的力量)wasdispleased(使不快).Oursexlifebecamealabexperiment,andouremotionallifewaveredmonthlybetweenhiddenoptimismandruinedexpectations.Thenfinally,onedayinJanuary.Thepregnancytest(孕检测试)turnedpink(孕检测试呈现粉红表示怀孕).JohnandIstaredrepeatedlyatthesupernaturalstickinexcitementandcouldnotfirmlybelieve.Wasthistrue?Shouldwetelleveryone?
WedecidedtotellhisparentsonFebruary15,thedayJohn’sfatherwouldturn70.WewereplanningtosurprisehimbygoingupafewdaysearlyandtojointhefamilyforabirthdaydinneratanelegantNewYorkCityrestaurant.Bythen1wouldbesixweekspregnant.Whatanideaitwouldbetogivehimtheultimategift—thenewsthat,atlonglast,wewouldaddababytothefamily.
WeflewintoBaltimore(巴尔的摩),planningtodrivetoNewYorkthenextdaywithJohn’ssisterandherfamily.Butnaturewasnotcooperative.Thatwasthewinterof1960,theyearthatbrokerecordsofsnowfallontheEastCoast(美国东海岸).Atyphoonblewupthen.Andtheweatherforecastsissuedsternwarningsnottodrivethenextday.
Wewatchedthenewslateintothenight,huddledbesidethefireplaceasthesnowcontinuedtofall.Drinkinghotteaandhotalcohol,wedebatedwhethertodriveoutthenextday.Finally,weacceded(同意)tothedecisionthattheeventmeanttoomuchnottogambleonit.Mybrother-in-law(妹夫),acan-domanwhoinspiresabsoluteconfidence,wascautiousbutwillingtotakethewheel.
Thenextmorningweloadedintotheirstationwagon—fouredgy(急躁不安的)adults,threeexcitedyoungboysandagoldenretriever(猎狗).Thenwespenteighttensehoursdrivingnorthonicy(冰的)highwaysinawhirlingblizzard(大风雪).
whenwefinallyarrivedthatnight,thelandscape(地形)oftheoutskirtsofNewYorkhadbeentransformedintoaNordic(北欧的)paradise.John’sfatherstillhadnoideawewerecoming.Wrappedinahugethermalcoat。Johnknockedonthefrontdoor.“Howharditissnowing!”Hesaidtohisdad.Whenhispuzzledfatherfinallyrecognizedhimandascertainedwhatreallyhappened,hesankbackintoachair.HowhadweappearedfromTexasinthemidstofableaksnowstormsofiercethatairportshadcanceledflights?Allofusthoughtthattomaketheoldmanstunnedandpleasedwasworththefreezingonthelongjourney.
Wedidn’tmakeitintothecityforourelegantdinner：theroadsandbridgeswereVirtuallyinaccessible(达不到的).WeendedupeatingataneighborhoodChineserestaurant.Excitedbyoursuccessfuladventure,wemadeanoisy,festive(节日似的)partyaroundthebigfamilytable.JohnandIexchangedaglance—now?ThenIrespectfullypresentedhisfatherwithagift-wrappedbox.Heopenedit,staredbewilderedatourgift,ababydollinafabricfashionedfromaTexas(得克萨斯州)flag.Heheldupthedollandkeptsaying“OhmyCod!”withwateringblueeyes.Ittraveledaroundthetable,everyonecongratulatedus.
Thenextmorning,Istartedtobleedandtofeelpain.Thentobleedmore.Bothmysisters-in-lawhadsufferedtroublesomepregnancies.LatethatafternoontheysatwithmeandJohninhisboyhoodbedroomaswestruggledtofacethematter.Ifoundaspiritualcomfortfromtheirconcernandanxiety.Acalltomydoctorconfirmedtheterribletruth：Ihadprobablyhadanabortion(流产).
Thatnighttheeightadultswentoutforaformalmakeupbirthdaybanquetatarestaurant.Theatmospherewasstrangeandbittersweet(苦乐参半的).A70thbirthdaycelebrationinnately(天生就有地)hasadarknote;tomakeafussofitistoacknowledgethatthelifeisfinite.Deathmaycomeatanyhour.Achingwithcramps(腹痛)andgrief,Ihadwantedtostayhomeinbed.Thesufferingsspoiledmyappetite.ButJohnandhisfamilyhadinsistedonmyjoiningthem,andtheywereright.Ourcommunal(集体的)dinnerhonoredourfather’slonglife.Wewerefamily;sharinggreatmealswasourglueandourcomfort.Wealldrownedourcomplicatedemotionsinthetoaststomyfather-in-law(岳父).
Theweatherclearedthenextday,andweflewhome.Onthewaytotheairport,Isawthedolllyingabandonedinthebackofmysister-in-law’sstationwagon.Itsfacesmiledupatmemockingly.Letthemthrowitout.Ithought.1wishedwehadnevergivenmyfather-in-lawthatabsurdbabydoll.
Backhome.Johnand1werestruckdownbythepowerofourgrief.Neitherofuscoulddragourselvestowork.Wefeltlikeacoupleofbaggageinalocker.Afterwehadtriedsolongandgotpregnant,themiscarriage(流产)wasatough,depressingloss.Andtohavelostthepregnancysopubliclymadeitevenworse.
Butonceagain,naturesurprisedus.Twomonthslater,almostbyaccident,Iturneduppregnant—amiracle!Thistime,wesuperstitiously(迷信地)keptthenewstoourselvesforafullthreemonths.Duringthoselongdays,webarelyevenallowedourselvestobelieveinthepregnancy.Ifwehadnoexpectations,thenmaybewecouldn’tbehurt.Butdespiteourfears,thisonewasakeeper.Thelittlebeinginsidemelivedandblossomed,graspedkicked,andtogetherwegrewintofullness.
OnJanuary31,ourdaughter,Addie,wasborn.Whensheemergedafteralong,hardlabor,Iaskedforhertobeplacedskin-to-skinonmychest.Shefeltwarmandsolidanddelicious.Wegazedintoeachother’seyesand1wasinstantlyinlove.ThemanyobstaclesthatJohnandIhadOvercomemadeUSgointoraptures(兴高采烈)overthebirthofthelittlebeing.Amongourmostjoyousphonecallswastheonetohisparents.Wedidit!She’shere!She’sperfect!
Thenextmorning,whenJohn’smotherGamedowntobreakfast,shefoundthedolldressedintheTexasflag.Unknown(未知的)toUS,myoldfather-in-lawhadkeptthelittledarlingdulltuckedawayforayear.Beforeplacingthedollnexttohiswife’splate,hehadtapedanotetoit.Itread“Hi,I’mAddie.”
Heunderstoodwhatwedidnot：lifesometimesdemandsmorepatiencethanyoucanbear.Hehadn’tgivenuphope.Ourhappinessdidn’tcomeintheformwefirstexpected,butitwasdeliveredjustthesame.
ItrarelysnowsinAustin(奥斯汀市)。Texas,butonAddle’sfirstbirthday,theskyturnedgray,thenitsnowed.Thecitywasinwhite.IbundledupoursweetgirlandcarriedheroutsideSOthatshecouldfeelandtastethefallingsnowararebirthdaygiftfromnature.Welaughedaswecaughtsnowflakes(雪花)onourtongues.Ihadn’tseensnowmyselfsincethatEastCoaststormtwoyearsbefore.Thenithadbeenaccompaniedbyanemotionalblizzard.Now1watcheditfallgentlyasIcradledmygiggling(咯咯笑)daughterinmyarms.Ihadlearnedalotaboutlove,hopeandbeingafamilyintwoyears’time.
Itriedtomake0uttheintricatestructureofindividualsnowflakes,toCapturetheiruniquebeauty.Buttheymeltedonmyhand.SoIgaveupandwatchedastheyunitedintowhitedriftsonourdeck,gatheringlikethefullnessofourfamily’slife.
注释:
inquire
rarelyrare/scarce
ambassadorambulance
adultold
exceedproceed
interference
connection
lifeline
displeaseplease
monthly
optimism
expectation
supernatural
gift
cooperative
typhoon
forecast
issue
stern
fireplacefire
alcohol
debate
gamble
absolute
cautious
wag(g)onwagon
tense
icyice
highwayway
whirl
outskirts
transform
paradise
thermal
puzzle
ascertain
bleak
fierce
inaccessible
neighborhood
doll
fabricfabric
fashion
congratulate
bleedblood
anxiety
formal
fuss
acknowledge
finite
grief
appetite
glue
father-in-law
mock
absurd
baggage
tough
despite
keeperkeep
blossom
grasp
emerge
obstacle
unknown
tuckaway
plateplate
bear
sweet
rare
accompanyaccompany
cradle
uniqueunite
gather