Hearing(E)
Mr.Johnson was over 70 years old and had serious hearing problems for a long timeHe went to the doctor,and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aidsthat allowed him to hear 100%Mr.Johnson went back to the doctor in a month,and teh doctor said,"Your hearing is perfect.
Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."Mr.Johnson replied,"Oh,I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to their conversations.
I've changed my will several times! "Don't Cough(E)Outside a chemist,a man is holding onto a polenot breathing,not moving,just standing thereSeeing this strange sight in front of his shopthe chemist goes up to his assistant and asks,"what's the matter with that guy?Wasn't he in here earlier?"The assistant replies,"Yes,he was.
He had the most terrible cough and none of our cough medicines seemed to help. "The chemist says,"He seems to be fine now."The assistant replies,"Sure,he does.
I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the marketNow he won't dare to cough! "A Facelift(E)A man decides to have a facelift for his birthdayHe spends $4,000and feels really good about the result good about the result.
On his way home he goes into a bookstore and buys a book on how to stay young.
Before leaving he says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,but how old do you think I am ?""About 35"was the reply.
"I'm actually 47 years old,"the man says,feeling really happy.
After that goes into a coffee shop to celebrateBefore leaving,he asks the same question.
The clerk replies, "Oh,you look about 29"This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop he asks a lady the same question.
"There is a sure way of telling a man's ageIf I read your palm,I'll be be able to tell your exact ageThe man gives the lady his hand,and seconds later she says,"You are 47 years old.""That was brilliant.How did you do that?"the man asks.
The lady replies, "I was behind you in the bookstore."