ask anyone who knows me, and she’ll tell you that “quiet” is not a word used to describe my personality. my mouth is always moving, whether i’m gabbing on the phone to my friends, chatting with my neighbor, or interviewing a subject for a story. i like to think i’m a pretty good conversationalist. but put me in a room full of people that i don’t know, and i instantly turn into a “shy girl,” secretly praying that someone, anyone, will strike up a conversation – and i won’t say anything stupid.
问问任何一个认识我的人，她都会告诉你，“安静”这个词不可以用来形容我的个性。我的嘴时刻不停闲——不管是在跟朋友煲电话粥、和邻居闲聊，还是为了某个报道采访当事人。我认为自己是一个很棒的交谈者。可是，如果置身于满屋子不相识的人之中，我就立刻变成了“害羞的大姑娘”，暗自祈祷着有人—— 任何人——主动和我说话，并祈祷自己不要说出任何傻话。
with every event i go to, though, i realize how important small talk is, especially when it comes to making business connections. it also doesn’t have to be scary. the next time you feel yourself melting into the wall at a party or work event, remember this: people love to talk about themselves. seriously. keep that in mind as you follow these tips:
可是每参加一个活动，我都会意识到闲聊是多么重要，尤其是在商务接洽的场合。你也不需要对闲聊感到恐惧。下次当你在派对或工作聚会上孑然一身而独自面对墙壁的时候，你要记住：人们爱聊自己的事，真的。执行以下诀窍时一定要记住这一点：
start off with a question.
again, this will get them talking about their favorite subject: themselves. if you’re at a party, ask them how they know the host. if it’s a conference or networking event, inquire as to what line of work they’re in. unless they’re total bores, this should give you plenty of material for follow-up questions. who knows? you may even find some common ground. maybe they like long-distance running as much as you do.
以问题开始。
还是那句话，这会让他们开口谈论他们最喜欢的话题：他们自己。如果你在派对上，问问他们是怎么认识主办人的；如果你在协商会或社交联谊会，问问他们是做什么工作的。除非他们是彻头彻尾的闷蛋，不然这应该能给你制造很多接话的素材。谁知道呢？你甚至还能找到你们的一些共同之处——或许他们也像你一样喜欢长跑。
always make eye contact.
you know the type: they’ve just asked you where you got your shoes, and as you proceed to tell them about this amazing sample sale you happened upon last week, you notice they’re not looking at you but over your shoulder at the vip who just entered the room. never make people feel like you’re not interested in what they have to say. not only is it rude, but it makes you look like a total social climber. and who wants that label?
保持眼神交流。
你知道有这种人：他们刚问了你在哪里买到的这双鞋，你正要告诉他们上周你碰巧遇到了很棒的尾货特卖会，你却注意到他们没在看你，而是看着你身后那个刚进门的重要人物呢。永远不要让别人觉得你对他们即将要说出口的那些话不感兴趣。不只是因为这样很无礼，而且这会使你被别人看作一个十足的趋炎附势的人。谁希望自己被冠上这种标签呢？
know when to fold ’em.
starting the conversation can be hard. ending it can be sheer torture. you don’t want to just walk away, but at the same time you can feel that awkward silence approaching. soon the two of you will have pained expressions on your faces as you desperately search for a way out. don’t let it get to that point. either bring someone else into the conversation and then gracefully move on, or say that you’re heading to the bar for a drink, but hope to catch up with them later on. (and hey, if you like the person, make sure that you do.)
知道何时闭嘴。
开始一段谈话可能很困难，结束一段谈话更是不折不扣的折磨。你不想直接掉头走开，可同时你又感受到那尴尬的沉静迎面而来。因为你们两个都急于找个理由离开，你们脸上很快就会出现痛苦的神情。不要落到那种境地。这么做吧：拉另一个人加入对话，然后优雅地走开；或者告诉对方你要去吧台拿杯饮料，希望稍后再和他们聊。（嘿，如果你喜欢那个人，一定要记得稍后再聊几句。）
as for me, i’ve been practicing my small-talk strategy, and the good news is, it’s a lot easier than i thought it would be. not to mention much more stimulating. trust me, the walls just aren’t that interesting. but you probably knew that already.
就我而言，我已经开始练习我的闲聊策略了。好消息是，这比我想象的容易得多，就更别提有多么刺激了。相信我，墙壁没有那么有趣，不过，你或许早就知道了。