lisa pond was playing basketball with her three children when she collapsed from an aneurysm on the first day of a 2007 anniversary cruise ship vacation.
but after the 39-year-old was rushed by ambulance to a florida medical center, she fought for her life alone.
her partner of 18 years, janice langbehn, said she was not allowed to see pond for eight hours as she lay dying, and their children were never given the chance to say goodbye.
she said pleas to be at her partner's deathbed were not granted because the lacey, wash., couple were lesbians.
langbehn has sued miami's jackson memorial hospital and three medical professionals, alleging they "ignored" her needs and that of their legally adopted children and prevented her from making healthcare decisions.
"no one should die alone," langbehn told abcnews.com.
langbehn said a social worker at the hospital informed her, "i need you to know this is an anti-gay city and a anti-gay state, and you are not going to get to see her or know her condition."
"i felt like i was being put on notice," said langbehn, now 40 and a social worker herself. she immediately called a friend to fax health care proxies and a durable power of attorney but the hospital disregarded the documents.
the hospital, through its lawyers, denied that their social worker made any such comment and said that saving pond's life was the doctors' top priority at the busy trauma center that serves the entire county. they said the couple was treated no differently than any other family in such circumstances.
lesbian files lawsuit against hospital
the lawsuit, filed in the u.s. district court in southern fla., alleges that the hospital staff was "motivated by anti-gay animus."
"from the moment langbehn and the children arrived at jackson memorial hospital, they encountered prejudice and apathy," the suit claims.
langbehn is being represented by the gay activist group lambda legal, which said the case could determine the way hospitals treat not only gay and lesbian patients, but unmarried heterosexuals and single people who rely on friends.
"hospitals have policies that define how patients are treated," said lambda's lawyer beth littrell. "hospitals are to treat patients with dignity and not discriminate and allow the patients to define their own families."
but, with same-sex marriage legal in only five states, gay couples can receive inconsistent access to hospital visitation and decision-making rights, according to the gay and lesbian medical association.
and in langbehn's case, even though the hospital may have open visitation, gatekeepers can interpret those policies differently.
"due to a patchwork of state laws and differing hospital policies across the country, there are still many challenges in guaranteeing equal health treatment for the lgbt [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender] community," he told abcnews.com.
lesbians denied visitation
pond had been the stay-at-home mother for their four adopted children, one of whom was not with them on vacation because he is living in a facility for disabled adults.
the family had just eaten lunch while the ship was still in port when pond collapsed on the top deck while taking photos of the children, ages 9, 11 and 13.
pond was rushed by ambulance to the ryder trauma center at jackson memorial and the rest of the family followed in a taxi, arriving at the hospital at 3:30 p.m.
"but as soon as i pulled up [to the hospital] and got out with three young kids and seven pieces of luggage, i was stopped at the door: 'you need to take a seat,'" said langbehn. "'go through another door and park your luggage in a small waiting room.'"
there, the family sat during pond's dying hours, except for two brief encounters with the doctors -- one to ask about a brain monitor and the other to report there was no hope left for pond.
langbehn was also allowed in pond's room for five minutes to watch a priest give her the last rites, but she said her pleas to let the children see their mother were unsuccessful, even when she provided birth certificates.
"as that was happening, i kept thinking, i've got to get the kids back to her," said langbehn. "they need to say goodbye to their mom."
when pond's "real relative" -- her sister -- arrived just before midnight, langbehn and the children were able to see her, though she was brain dead.
despite providing legal health directives, langbehn said, "short of being straight, i don't know what i could have done differently."
hospital denies discrimination
but hospital officials argue they did treat langbehn as pond's legal partner, allowing her to make medical decisions, including organ donation.
they also said the hospital's general visitation policy does not discriminate against same-sex couples.
"it doesn't matter and no distinctions are made," said robert alonso, spokesman for the public trust that runs jackson memorial.
but in its ryder trauma center, where pond was treated, "there is no automatic visitation for anybody, no matter who you are," he told abcnews.com.
there, visitation is restricted because of the nature of the level 1 trauma center -- the only one in miami dade county -- where doctors treat gunshot wounds, stabbings and other "horrific injuries," according to alonso.
same-sex couples struggle
"clearly, we embrace visitors in the health process," he said. "if there is any delay in a unit as intense as this one, care is delivered to the patient. it has nothing to do with religious beliefs or sexual orientation or background."
"there are some extreme allegations made that [doctors and staff] deliberately tried to harm people emotionally," said alonso. "that is the only story being told. they were there trying to save her partner's life."
but in states like florida, where same-sex marriage was outlawed last year in constitutional amendment, many gay couples say they have to argue with hospital officials to visit their loved ones.
the joint commission, the national body that accredits hospitals, does not specifically address visitation policies, but it sets standards for addressing the "comfort and dignity" of both the patient and family in end-of-life care, according to spokeswoman elizabeth zhani.
standards also include respecting a patient's "cultural and personal values, beliefs and preferences."
lambda lawyer beth littrell said hospitals need to recognize the legitimacy of same-sex relationships so that "loved ones are not kept apart when they need each other most."
night nurse banned gay partner from deathbed
such was the case with sharon reed, another washington resident who said she was repeatedly told to leave her dying partner's hospital room by a "temporary" night nurse in 2005.
reed, who, like langbehn, had all the legal directives to serve as her partner's health proxy, has filed a lawsuit against the employment agency that hired the nurse at seattle's university of washington medical center.
her partner of 17 years, jo ann ritchie, had been frequently hospitalized for a blood ailment and reed had been allowed to stay at her side -- even in the intensive care unit, where she once spent the night.
"we were not strangers to the hospital," said reed.
"the day before jo died, she told me, 'i'm scared, don't leave me,'" said reed, now 70 and a psychotherapist. "i promised i would stay with her, but every time i tried to see jo [the nurse] would scream at me to get out of the room, 'you don't belong here.' she was very hostile from the beginning."
the hospital has liberal "24/7" visitation policies, according to reed's lawyer, judith a. lonnquist, who filed a "torte of outrage" in king county superior court. "but this woman was from tennessee and knew nothing about the cultural norms of the northwest."
today, reed told abcnews.com that she felt she had let her partner down at the end of life.
"ours was the kind of relationship had been a dream of a lifetime for both of us," said reed. "we had spent the last 17 years, buying a home, raising a child, being successful in our careers, having loyal friends and sharing time with our families."
"we absolutely adored each other and everybody knew it," she said.
2007年 lisa pond 在游船上享受年假的第一天，她在与她的三个小孩一起玩篮球的时候突然因动脉瘤发作而昏倒。
但当这位三十九岁的患者被救护车送往佛罗里达医疗中心之后，她只能独自与死神搏斗。
与她相处十八年的同性恋伴侣 janice langbehn 说在 lisa 临终前的这八个小时里，她不被获准去探视lisa，而且她们的小孩也没有得到临终道别的机会。
janice说她恳求去伴侣临终病床前陪伴，但这一要求未能获准因为这一对来自华盛顿州lacey城的伴侣是女同性恋。
janice 已经起诉了位于迈阿密的杰克逊纪念医院以及三位医护人员，称他们忽略了她本人及三个合法收养的孩子的需要并阻止她对（伴侣的）健康问题作决定。
“没人应该在孤单中死去。” janice 这样告诉abc新闻网。
janice 说医院的一位社工通知她说 “我要告诉你这是一个反同性恋州里的反同性恋城市，你将无法探望她或者得知她的状况。”
如今40岁的janice本人也是一位社工，她说："我觉得这是一种预先警告"。她立刻打电话请一位朋友传真给她保健代理协定以及律师持久授权书，但医院完全无视这些文件。
这家医院通过律师出面否认了他们的社工说过上面那句话，并称在这座为整个区县服务的急救中心，挽救 lisa的生命是医生的首要任务。他们说这对伴侣并没有被区别于相同情况下的其他家庭。
女同性恋状告医院
这件官司打到了佛罗里达南区联邦法院，原告称该医院的员工"被反对同性恋的敌意所左右"。
诉状还称：“从janice和她的孩子们到达杰克逊纪念医院之后，他们遭遇到偏见与冷漠。”
janice的律师来自同性恋运动团体lambda legal, 该组织称本案将决定医院对待同性恋病人，未婚同性恋，以及和朋友一起生活的单身者。
lambda legal的律师beth littrell说：“医院的政策决定了病人会受到怎样的对待，医院应该让病人享有尊严，免受歧视，并且让病人自己决定谁是他们的家人。”
但是据同性恋医疗协会说，由于美国只有5个州允许同性恋婚姻合法化，同性恋伴侣的医院探视权和医疗决定权无法得到保障。
本案中，即使医院允许所有人的探视权，医院守门人依然能够以不同方式解读这些政策。
律师告诉abc新闻网说：“因为一些各式各样不同的州法律和医院政策，保障lgbt人群(男女同性恋，双性恋以及变性人的总称)的平等健康护理权利依然面临各种挑战。”
女同性恋无法获得探视权
pond是照顾四个养子养女的家庭主妇。四个小孩其中的一个因为住在成年残疾人中心而没有参加这次旅行。
当pond在给分别是9岁11岁13岁这三个小孩照像而昏倒时，他们才不过刚刚吃完饭，而且游船也还停在港口里。
救护车把pond火速送到了杰克逊纪念医院的ryder急救中心。家人们则乘一辆出租车跟随。他们下午三点半到达医院。
janice说：“但是当我带着七件行李和三个小孩停在医院门口的时候，我被拦住了。他们告诉我说你必须找个地方坐下，走过另一扇门去把行李放在一间小等候室。”
在pond的最后时刻，全家人就坐在那个等候室里，除了两次跟医生的简短碰面：一次是询问脑部监视器，另一次是通知他们pond已经没有希望了。
janice被允许到pond的屋子里5分钟看牧师为pond最后祷告，但她说她让孩子们见妈妈最后一面的恳求没有成功，即便她提供了孩子们的出生证明。
janice说：“当事情发生时，我一直在想，我一定要把孩子们送到她身边，孩子们需要跟妈妈最后告别。”
当pond“真正的亲属”——她的姐姐——在午夜前抵达的时候，janice和小孩可以见到pond，虽然此时pond已经脑死亡。
除了无法提供法定的医疗决定委托书，janice说：“除了成为一个异性恋，我不知道有任何地方我可以做得不同。”
医院否认歧视
但是医院的管理人员反驳说他们的确把janice当作pond的法定伴侣，并让她做了包括器官捐献在内的医疗决定。
管理人员还说医院的探视规定是不会歧视同性伴侣的。
“同性恋这件事情在这里无关紧要，也没有被区别对待。”医院所属的公共基金会的发言人robert alonso这么说。
robert还对abc新闻网说，在急救中心，当pond接受治疗的时候，“任何人不会自动获得探视权，不管你是谁。”
探视权被限制的原因是这里是一级急救中心，这是迈阿密dade区县唯一的一所一级急救中心。医生们在这里处理枪伤，刀伤，以及其他“可怕的伤害”。
同性伴侣的斗争
“很明显，在医疗过程中我们欢迎探访。”robert说：“在这个繁忙的机构里，如果有任何延误，我们首先在乎的是病人。这跟宗教或者性取向或者其他背景没有任何关系。”
“有些极端的说法说医生和职员们有意伤害人们的感情，虽然人们总是说这样的话，但是这些医生和护士实际上正在抢救他们的伴侣。”
但是在佛罗里达这样的州，同性恋婚姻在去年的宪法修正案中已经被确定为非法。许多同性伴侣说他们必须跟医院争论探视爱人的权利。
据确认医院资格的医疗联合会发言人elizabeth zhani女士说，联合会并没有特别规定探视政策，但是医疗联合会有对于病人与伴侣在生命最后时刻的“舒适与尊严”的确有标准。
标准也包括尊重病人的“文化和个人价值，信仰以及偏好”。
lambda legal的律师beth littrell说医院需要认识到同性恋关系的合法性，因此“爱人们在彼此最需要的时候不能被分开”。
夜班护士禁止同性恋伴侣探视临终病床
这是sharon reed的事情，reed是另一位华盛顿州居民，她说2005年时，她一再被一位临时夜班护士要求从同性恋伴侣的临终病床边离开。
reed和janice一样，也有代理伴侣医疗决定的委托书。她起诉了雇用这位护士的西雅图华盛顿大学医疗中心。
她相处17年的伴侣jo ann ritchie因为血液病频频住院。reed被允许陪伴在身边，包括在加护病房。她曾经在加护病房陪伴病人一整夜。
reed说：“对于医院而言我们并不是陌生人。”
reed如今年届七十，是一位心理治疗师，她说：“jo去世前一天，她对我说‘我很害怕，不要离开我’ 。我保证我会陪着她，但是每次我要去看她的时候，那个护士总是对我大叫，让我离开病房。那个护士从一开始就非常敌视我，还说‘这里不是你待的地方’。”
reed的律师judith a. lonnquist说，这家医院有明文规定的全天探视政策。律师在king区县的地方法院提交了"极度侵权"诉状。“这个护士来自田纳西，他根本不知道西北地区的文化传统。”
今天，reed告诉abc新闻网说，她觉得她在伴侣生命的最后时刻让伴侣失望了。
reed说：“我们的关系对两个人而言都是梦幻般的完美一生。我们一起度过了17年，我们一起买房子，有成功的事业，有忠诚的朋友，和家人一起欢度时间。”
“我们毫无保留的深爱对方，所有人都知道。”她说。