7 Signs You Are Having Unhealthy Fights With Your Significant Other
7个你与你的另一半有不健康吵架的迹象
It’s very difficult to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy fights in any relationship. There are two types of arguments. The first one heals and helps you clarify a lot of things; the second one destroys and damages your relationship. Frequent and trivial arguments are usually the result of not knowing how to communicate in a proper way. When the partners allow emotions to enter the discussion, they have the risk to intensify the argument.
在任何恋爱中很难知道健康和不健康的争吵之间的区别。有两种类型的参数。第一个并帮助你澄清很多东西;第二个毁灭和破坏你们的关系。频繁和琐碎的争吵通常的结果不知道如何用合适的方式交流。当伴侣让情绪进入讨论,他们有加强争吵的风险。
Nowadays many couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. You should do your best to present your opposing views in a respectful way. Here are 7 signs that prove you are having unhealthy fights with your significant other.
现在很多夫妻把可用于别的东西的能量燃烧在争吵中。你应该尽力在表达自己的反对意见时用一种尊重的方式。这里有7种迹象,证明你与你的另一半有不健康的争吵。
1. You don’t really want to listen
你真的不想听
If you refuse to listen to what your partner says, you are not fighting fair, because communication is the core element of all healthy relationships. Furthermore, communication can be the tool to solve the argument. That’s why you should listen and treat your partner’s point of view with respect. If you ignore what your partner is saying and focus only on your truth, you will spoil the relationship.
如果你不听对方说什么,这不公平,因为交流是所有健康关系的核心元素。此外,沟通是解决争吵的工具。这就是为什么你应该倾听并尊重对方的观点。如果你忽视你的伴侣说什么,只关注你的真理,你将破坏的关系。
2. A desire to win
想赢的愿望
A constant desire to win in a fight is one of the most obvious signs of unhealthy arguments with your beloved. Your need to win all the time makes you aggressively prove your truth. Consequently, the other one feels attacked and the argument escalates. Moreover, if you always show how clever you are and refuse to discuss the issue, the partner will feel unvalued and unheard.
在战斗中不断渴望赢是最明显的不健康的和你的至爱争吵的迹象之一。你需要赢得所有的时间让你积极地证明你的真理。因此,另一个感觉袭击并升级争吵。此外,如果你总是显示你有多聪明,拒绝讨论这个问题,对方会觉得不受重视和不被理睬。
3. Using anger while arguing
争论时愤怒
By all means, it is necessary to control anger while arguing with your partner. Otherwise you might say something that you will regret later. Anger is a destructive emotion that does more harm than good. The main point to avoid anger is to keep in mind that when in an argument it is best to focus on the subject of the argument, but not the other person. This anger can easily transform an innocent argument to a verbal fight. If you cannot control your flashes of anger, you’d better excuse yourself from the conversation and take a breath of fresh air. Don’t use tones and words that can hurt your partner, instead, try to settle the argument in a friendly and civilized way.
无论如何,有必要控制愤怒当你和你的伴侣争吵时。否则你可能会说出你以后会后悔的话。愤怒是一种破坏性的情感,弊大于利。避免愤怒的要点是要记住,当在争吵时最好关注争论的主题,而不是别人。这种愤怒可以很容易地将一个无辜的争论变成战斗。如果你不能控制你的愤怒,你最好原谅自己从对话中出来呼吸新鲜空气。不要使用可以伤害你的伴侣的腔调和话语,相反,试图以友好文明的方式解决争吵。
4. Arguing about the same things
争论同样的东西
If you are always arguing about the same things, you should try to find a different approach, because this one is very risky for your relationship. It often happens that old unresolved issues from the past arise in your day-to-day arguments. Your partner can be already sick and tired of hearing the same things every time you argue. You cannot change the past that’s why try to focus on the present moment and try to avoid the same problems in future.
如果你总是争论同样的事情,你应该尝试找到不同的方法,因为这是很危险的关系。它经常发生,从过去旧的未解决的问题出现在日常争吵中。你的伴侣可以已经受不了每次你说听到同样的事情。你不能改变过去,这就是为什么试图专注于当下,尽量在未来避免同样的问题。
5. You forget to take turns
你忘了轮流
I’m sure you know that when one speaks, the other should be listening, especially during the argument. It is extremely important to take turns speaking and listening. It will give both of you an opportunity to explain and say what you need. If you are very emotional and hot-tempered person, you should sometimes give in if you really love your significant other.
我肯定你知道当一个人说话时,另一个应该倾听,特别是在争吵中。轮流说话和倾听是非常重要的。它会给你一个机会来解释和说你需要什么。如果你是很情绪化,脾气暴躁的人,有时你应该放弃争吵如果你真的爱你的另一半。
6. You cannot stop the argument
你就不能停止争吵
If your conflict is caused by serious and complicated problems, you should try to accept the fact that you are different and cannot agree with certain things. If you are not able to handle the situation, you need to find support and help from friends, family or other people. They may help you put a different complexion on the problem and find the solution of the argument.
如果你的冲突是由于严重的和复杂的问题,你应该试着接受这个事实你是不同的和不能同意某些事情。如果你不能处理这些情况,你需要找到来自朋友、家人或其他人的支持和帮助。他们可以帮助你找到方案解决不同局面的问题。
7. Raising the voice
提高声音
When you want to discuss a difficult topic with your partner, you should try to keep yourself in hand and avoid raising the voice. Just take responsibility for your emotions and talk over all disputable questions. I’m sure that it’s possible to win almost all arguments without such useless and irritating habit as raising the voice. Realize that you can make your partner feel guilty, ashamed or stupid if you raise your voice during the arguments.
当你想要与你的伴侣讨论一个困难的话题时,你应该尽量保持自制,避免提高声音。为自己的情绪负责,讨论所有有争议的问题。我肯定可以赢得几乎所有争吵而没有这样无用的和令人恼火的提高了声音的习惯。意识到你可以让你的伴侣感到内疚,羞愧或愚蠢的如果你提高你的声音在争论。
If you really love and respect your partner, you should try to treat various life misunderstandings knowingly and reasonably. You cannot change the partner but you can make changes in your own life in order to keep your relationship safe and healthy. What other signs of unhealthy arguments do you know? Feel free to share your tips on how to deal with unhealthy arguments.
如果你真的爱和尊重你的伴侣,你应该试着理智的处理各种生活误解。你不能改变伴侣,但你可以改变自己生活以保持你的安全和健康的关系。你知道其他不健康的争吵迹象吗?随时分享你的建议关于如何处理不健康的争吵。
7 Signs You Are Having Unhealthy Fights With Your Significant Other