what's the key to successful relationships ? here sonny walia reveals the simple things you need to know to deepen your partnership and make your relationship work, especially when things seem to going sour.
1. learn that punishing your partner won't work. it may make you feel better to give them a hard time, but it will actually make them dig their heels in more. a better tactic is to reward the things you like and ignore what you don't like.
2. money is the number one cause of couple conflict. for a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget.
3. if the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
4. if you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel they are not as good at it as you are. it's important to present a united front to your children.
5. sort out your sex life . the sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. as soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
6. don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. you need to learn to resist. if you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. so, you need to learn to resist. but don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
7. remember that boredom typically covers up anger. if you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
8. be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. if he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
成功婚姻关系的关键在哪里？这里，桑尼瓦丽亚向你揭露出一些关于怎么样加深你们之间的关系，让婚姻成功的方法，尤其是当事情看上去出错了。
1、知道惩罚对方是无济于事的。让对方难受也许会让你感觉好些，但是实际上这只会让他们更钻牛角尖。比较好的做法是奖励你喜欢的部分，忽视你不喜欢的部分。
2、钱是双方产生冲突的罪魁祸首。要想婚姻成功，你需要说明你的经济状况，并事先做好预算。
3、如果你们没有平均分配家务，那么就会在交往中产生摩擦。把家务列一张清单，跟你的伴侣彻底讨论一翻，并动员所有家庭成员，包括你的伴侣，一起分担家务。
4、如果你们有孩子，即使你觉得你的伴侣在照顾孩子方面不如你，也要让他尽可能的参与。在孩子面前显示出你们的同一阵线是很重要的。
5、把你们性生活分类。随着结婚年数的增加，性欲可能会时高时低。但如果当性欲开始进入低潮时，不要单纯的接受它。当你一感觉性欲下滑时，问一下为什么，然后努力把激情找回来。
6、不要以为你不会受到婚外情的诱惑，因为几乎每个人都这么以为。你必须要学会坚持。如果你一时没把持住，也不要认为它意味着婚姻关系的结束。大多数夫妻都能重新合好，特别是一夜情，人们常常能发现解决这类事后，夫妻间的关系会更亲密。所以你要学会坚持，但不要以为一次婚外情就是所有的结束。
7、牢记厌倦感往往是为了掩盖怒火。如果你对他感到厌倦了，问问自己，你在为什么发火。
8、小心，男人比女人更容易被感情击垮。如果他生气或流泪，给他半小时的“不崩溃”时间，能帮助他重新恢复平衡，让他有能力更肯定的和你在一起。