who we are, or at least who we think we are, rests in large part upon the walls that we have built inside ourselves. these walls are our self-defined limits, constraints on our own potential put that we inflict on ourselves.
we're not really aware of that when we build them, though... we build them for other reasons, not even recognizing how much we are limiting ourselves. eventually we even forget that there is a wall that we built... we just perceive it as part of our natural environment, something that has always been there.
we build these walls to shelter our inner, vulnerable self. we build them to provide safety, safety from pain, safety from risk. we build them to keep others out, so that they can't see our weaknesses.
unfortunately, they don't truly work the way we intend. they block pain... but only from our conscious mind. our subconscious mind still feels it, and reacts to it... we just don't know where that reaction originates. since we don't know why we do something, we can't control it... we can't fix the cause if we don't know what it is.
it does protect us from risk, but when building our walls we seldom consider the fact that reward is generally closely related to risk, meaning that if we experience no risk, we experience no reward. if we did consider it, we might be less likely to build them... knowing that we are limiting our future potential.
walls also keep others away... but they do so by walling your self off from the world. as you build more walls, the part of the world that you can see keeps shrinking. eventually, if you build enough, you can't see anything but your self... and that's an awfully lonely place to be.
when people are in prison for a long time... they become "institutionalized", used to walls around you all the time and strict limits on their potential. when they get out, they are uncomfortable and disoriented. the outside world is such a chaotic place, filled with so much activity.
mental walls work the same way... you are, essentially, building your own prison. as you spend more time in your prison, you become more comfortable with your limits, with your smaller version of the world, and the world outside your prison seems more and more scary.
that, in turn, makes you build your walls thicker and higher, to keep that world away. sometimes something comes along, or more to the point someone, that makes you open your walls a little bit. you let them inside the outer walls of your prison, to continue our analogy, but you don't let them past the visitor area. this could be a spouse or child, or even a true friend.
if that person hurts you, which is essentially a given when you are around someone enough, that can reinforce your fear, and cause you to push them back outside your outer walls, which you then proceed to build yet higher. this walls you in even further away from any opportunities in the outside world, in fear that they might turn out to bring pain.
within your own prison, there is no parole, and you are serving a life sentence. the only way out, long term, is to break down the walls that make up the prison.
this is a very uncomfortable thought for many, perhaps most, people. that's because they look at it as all or nothing... essentially you don't change anything, or you have to let go of all your walls.
fortunately, it doesn't have to be that way. in fact, if you attempt to do it that way, you're very likely to fail to make your freedom permanent. it's like digging a tunnel to escape your prison... you may escape, but if they catch you, they'll put you back inside, in a different cell, probably one that's much harder to escape.
you can, however, break down your walls a little bit at a time. you can make the conscious decision to tear down individual walls, releasing individual pains and fears. when you release them, you'll have to face them, but once you face them and accept them, they lose their power and depart.
as each wall crumbles, you grow stronger... less of your time and energy is spent maintaining your prison, which leaves more available for tearing down more walls, and reaching for outside opportunities.
that effect snowballs, too... as you break down each wall, it adds to the energy you have available to break down the next. that makes it easier and easier to do... you build up momentum, and after a while you may find that some walls are falling apart on their own, without you even having to make a conscious effort.
the sense of openness and freedom that you experience as you do this can be both exhilarating and uncomfortable. the strength of those feelings is directly related to how fast you're moving in tearing down the walls... that's why i recommend that you start slowly: you can find a speed where the change is slow enough for you to handle.
each wall that you break down is one less restriction on your self, one less limit to your potential. even very early in the process you can feel this, and it is often the motivation to continue.
there's nothing like that first sight of the outside world, that moment when you can see just how much potential you really have. it's scary, exhilarating, and powerful, like the moment on a roller coaster when you're just starting a free fall.
if it doesn't scare you back inside your prison, though, the world is out there for you to conquer.
我们是什么样的人呢，或者至少是，在我们想象中，自己是什么样的人呢，我们这些人，只是一个个将自己大部分的内心世界，都躲避在自己所筑起的围墙之中的人。这些墙壁，是我们给自己设定的界限，束缚了我们的潜能，将我们困在其中，承受着自己给自己制造的痛苦。
我们筑起这些墙壁的时候，其实并没有真正意识到我们做了这样的事，虽说……我们是在各种原因之下，竖起了这些墙壁，然而我们却不清楚，我们对自己限制到了何种程度。而最终，我们甚至忘记了曾经竖过这道墙……我们只是将它作为我们自身原本存在着的一部分，认为它一直就竖在那里。
我们为了保护自己脆弱的内心，竖起了这些墙壁。我们筑这些墙壁，是为了给自己带来安全，使自己远离痛苦，使自己远离风险。我们筑起这些墙壁，隔开周围的人们，因此，他们便无法看到我们的弱点。
不幸的是，这些墙壁并非如我们所想象的那样安全。它们使我们远离了痛苦……但它只能使我们在有意识的状态下，远离痛苦的侵袭。而在我们的下意识中，仍然会感到痛苦，并且作出反应……我们只是不知道，这种反应出自何因。由于我们不知道为什么自己会产生这一反应，因此我们无法控制它……如果我们不知道自己为什么会有这一反应，那么我们则无法找到其产生的原因。
这些墙，使我们远离了风险，但我们在建造这些墙壁的时候，却很少考虑，一般来说，风险所带来的回报，也即是说，如果我们不经历风险，那么我们就得不到从风险中得到的经验。如果我们考虑到了这一点，那么我们就不会自愿建造这些墙壁……如果我们知道，这些墙壁，会对我们将来的潜力，带来多大的限制。
这些墙壁，确实使他人远离了我们……但与此同时，我们也把自己关闭在了这个世界之外。如果你建起了更多道墙，那么你所看到的这个世界，就会变得越来越狭小。最终，如果你建起了许许多多道墙，那么，你除了自己，就什么也无法看到了……那样一来，你就会处于极度的孤独之中。
如果人们长时间生活在监狱里……那么，他们就会越来越习惯于它狭小的空间，习惯于四周永远有围墙隔挡，习惯于处身于极度限制了他们的潜力的空间。当他们从这些监狱中出来，就会感到非常不安、辨不清方向。外面的世界十分混乱，充满着各种各样的变数。
精神上的围墙，对人们也有着同样的影响……从本质上说，你是在为自己建造一个监狱。你在这监狱里呆的时间越长，就会越来越适应于它对你的局限，你对这个世界的看法会越来越狭隘，在你的监狱外的那个世界，会使你感到越来越慌恐不安。
因而，这也就使得你把这些围墙建造得越来越厚、越来越高，使自己远远逃离这个世界。有时发生了什么事，或是你身边重要的人发生了什么事，你会将围墙打开了一点点缝隙。你让他们进入这监狱外围的墙壁，你会让他们离你的距离越来越近，但你却不会让他们来到可以直接接近你的地方。而这个被你挡在外面的人，可能是你的爱人，或是你的孩子，也可能是你真正的朋友。
如果哪个人伤害了你，这种情况往往发生在你同此人非常接近的时候，这就会使你更加害怕，你便会把他们推到最外层的墙外，随后，你将这层外墙再加高一些。你将这些墙建造得离外界更远了，你害怕，一旦你接近外界，就会受到伤害。
你将终身困在这处监狱里，不会重获自由。在这长期的监闭中，只有一条路可以出去，那就是拆除这监狱的围墙。
对于很多人来说，这样的想法是非常难以接受的，甚至是最难以接受的。这是由于，他们将这些墙壁视为生命中的全部，或者是无视其存在……从本质上说，除非你打破所有的墙壁，否则你什么也无法改变。
幸运的是，你不必那样做。事实上，如果你试着那样做了，你就会永远失去自由。这就象是挖开一条隧道，逃离你的监狱……你或许能够逃脱出来，但如果你被抓住，就会被拖回到监狱里去，换到另一个囚室，或许这个囚室更加难以逃脱。
然而，你可以每次都把墙壁拆除一些。你可以有意识地一个个拆除这些墙壁，释放一个个痛苦和恐惧。而当你把这些痛苦和恐惧都释放出来的时候，你就必须面对它们，而一旦你正视了它们，接受了它们，那么它们就会失去对你的影响力，并且从你的生命中消失。
随着这些墙壁逐个倒塌下去，你就会变得越来越强壮……你余下的不多的时间和精力，维持着这个监狱，而这些剩余的时间和精力，会帮助你拆倒更多的墙壁，最终逃出监狱。
这一效应，就象是滚雪球一样……你每拆除一道墙壁，你的力量就会增加，从而支撑你拆除下一道墙壁。你会感到越来越容易……你的力量逐渐增强，不久以后，你就会发现，你不必有意为之，有些墙壁就会自行倒塌。
在你拆除这些墙壁的时候，你会感觉到心脑开阔、自由自在，你会觉得非常愉快，而且有些不安。这些感觉所带给你的力量，同你用多快的速度拆掉这些围墙，直接相关……这就是为什么我建议你开始的时候慢一点：你就会发现，这一力量逐步增加，你可以轻松地掌控它。
你每每拆掉一道墙壁，对你的限制就会随之减轻，而对于你潜能的限制，就会随之放松。你的墙拆除得越早，就越是会感觉到这一点，而这也是支撑你继续拆除墙壁的动力。
什么也比不了你第一次放眼外面的世界的感觉，那一刻，你会发现自己实际上怀有多大的潜力。这种感觉，有些不安，有些兴奋，还非常强劲，就象你置身于过山车上，这车刚刚开始自由下降的那个瞬间，你所产生的感觉。
尽管如此，这一感觉不会使你慌恐到，想再退回到你的监狱里，因为这个世界，正在等待着你去征服。