with a black family moving into the white house for the first time in history, the comedian offers his thoughts on what’s likely to change. expect jay-z on the sound system, a "pink room" for the girls, and oprah’s decorating touch.
1. a beauty salon stocked with black hair care products will be built for michelle and the two girls. the humidity will kill a sister in d.c.
2. country music will be banned and replaced with rap, preferably jay-z.....the clean version. and hopefully some earth, wind & fire.
3. the staff around the white house will be wearing smiles, getting to work on time and proud to be in the house.
4. while this change will not happen in the white house per say, it will be a direct result of who is in the white house: more people will be checking "other" when they fill out forms asking them to describe their race.
5. because president obama has such beautiful daughters, he will soon be building a secure wing where he will hide them so he will not have to "hurt a brother," "deport a brother," or have a brother "disappeared.”
6. there will be a pink room at the white house because his daughter has asked for it, and they are daddy’s girls.
7. although this brother is an educated harvard grad and his wife is from princeton, there will be occasions when cp time will rule the schedule and folks will have to wait.
8. oprah winfrey will redecorate the guest room at the white house, and gayle will help.
9. the president will never use the "back door" at the white house, even if he has to go the bathroom and can not hold it. ‘nuff said.
10. occasionally security will have to deal with random brothers and sisters coming to the guard gate and saying, "tell barack i need to speak to him...he knows my people."
原文链接：
在历史上第一个黑人家庭搬入白宫前，喜剧演员提供了几个装修白宫的建议。比如在白宫的音乐系统中加入jay-z的音乐，给女孩儿们弄一间粉红房，还有奥普拉推荐的装修风格。
1.应该建一间备有黑发护理产品的美容院给米歇尔和两位小女孩。否则以华盛顿的湿度，迟早会出人命的。
2.奥巴马入主白宫后，乡村音乐是会被禁止的，取而代之的是说唱。如果有jay-z（美国最顶尖的黑人说唱歌手--译注）的完整版专辑就很完美啦……最好还能有一点earth, wind & fire（一支乐队--译注）。
3.他肯定时刻保持笑容，准时上班，并以在白宫工作而骄傲。（嫌弃黑人没到过白宫）
4.当这些改变实际上不可能在白宫发生的时候，我们只能看到这样一个现象：将有更多的人在做关于他们种族的问卷调查的时候，选择在“其他”那一栏打勾。（黑人和白宫是格格不入的）
5.因为奥巴马总统有两个非常漂亮的女儿，他需要建一个安全侧房以便将她们藏起来。而不必去“伤害兄弟”、“驱逐兄弟”，或让一个兄弟“消失”。（黑人经常都是威胁公共安全的源头，即便奥巴马，为了保护两个漂亮的女儿也不得不防自己的黑人兄弟们）
6.白宫里还得有一间粉色房（pink room），因为他女儿需要，她们可是爹地的女儿啊。（一般白人小孩都有一间“粉色房”，作者嘲笑奥巴马的小孩没住过粉色房）
7.虽然奥兄从哈佛毕业、他老婆是普林斯顿毕业的，但是当时间表上有有色人种的，人们不得不等着他们上班。（非洲裔和拉丁裔的美国人经常迟到）
8.奥普拉·温弗莉会在白宫重新装修客厅，盖尔将提供帮助。
9. 总统将不需要用到白宫的“后门”，哪怕他憋不住想去卫生间尿尿。
10.有时候警卫不得不处理不知从哪冒出来的哥们/姐们，他们对着保卫大门说：“告诉巴拉克我找他……我跟他认识。”