the role of dad during a child's birth has gained more and more prominence over the years, to the point that it's expected that today's new father will do some of the work himself by cutting the cord or "catching" the baby (for experienced rugby players only).
but is the idea all it's cracked up to be? laura yates, who blogs for the birmingham mail, doesn't think so. in a post entitled "who says boyfriends should be present during labour?" she says that women with partner-coaches tend to get more epidurals (he doesn't like to see you in pain so is more likely to encourage it). she also thinks the messy reality can interfere with life after birth - that the moment of crowning becomes seared in his brain, emerging - as it were - every time he revisits the area.
she doesn't say whether her boyfriend is also the daddy, but she's right about one thing though - having your partner in the room has become de rigeur and to deviate from the practice seems to imply something about your relationship or the type of parent your partner will be.
throughout my whole pregnancy with the kid at no point did i have any deep rooted desire to have the other half there during the birth. judging by the response i got from some of my friends, that made me as much as a monster as harold shipman. one friend was horrified when i said i'd been thinking about going it alone. she told me i'd be depriving my man of one of the most important moments in his life.
of course, there's also the small factor of what the dad/boyfriend/husband wants. being there to offer support and lay eyes on the newborn can be as motivating for men as women.
during my pregnancy i briefly floated the idea that my mother accompany me rather than my husband. it was out of the question as far as he was concerned. he wanted to be there and have the birth as something we did together, for better or worse. on the day itself, he was steadfast and soothing and kept talking to me throughout the whole thing.
in the end, yates's boyfriend did attend the birth. he stayed up next to her head rather than grabbing a ringside seat further south. that's an approach i wholeheartedly endorse. if the partner is in the room, the birth should be a shared experience, not a rubbernecking opportunity.
注：epidurals 直译为“硬膜外麻醉”：指女人生产时在脊柱硬脊膜间注射的麻醉剂。
爸爸在孩子降生过程中能起什么作用，近些年越来越引起人们的重视。简言之，如今的新父亲理应亲手做些事情，比如剪断新生儿的脐带，或是“抓住”婴儿（那只有有经验的橄榄球球员才做得到）。
但是，这种见解果真如同说的那么好吗？给伯明罕邮报写博客的劳拉·叶慈认为并非如此。她在题为“谁说在分娩阵痛时男友应当在场？”的帖子里说，妇女与配偶训练往往会获得更多的“麻痹”（他不想看到你痛苦不堪，却可能更助长痛苦）。她还认为，分娩的不洁场面可能会影响产后的夫妻生活，即每当他重顾分娩时裸露的部位，分娩那一刻的场景会成为他脑海中无法磨灭的阴影。
她没有明言她的男友是否也做了爸爸，但尽管如此，有件事她是说对了。你的配偶已按礼节要求待在产房里，他在那里与业务实习不同，仿佛暗示着你们的关系，或是暗示着你的配偶将为人父了。
在我有孕在身期间，我从来没有什么根深蒂固的愿望，要在生孩子的过程中有丈夫陪伴。根据我的一些朋友的反应来判断，这种念头让我成了“杀人医生”哈罗德·希普曼那样的怪物。当我说起我一直在考虑不用陪伴独自分娩时，一个朋友惊骇不已。她告诉我，如果我那样做的话，就会使我的丈夫错失他有生以来最为重要的一个时刻。
自然，也有爸爸/男友/丈夫一心想往的微小因素。陪伴在侧既可给妻子带来勇气，还可以目睹婴儿出生，激发母爱那样的父爱之情。
在我怀孕期间，我草率地提出届时我要母亲不要丈夫陪我的想法。对他而言这是绝不可能的。不管怎样，他想伴我一起迎接婴儿诞生，就像我们一起造人那样。到了分娩那天，他还是坚定不移，让我宽心，并在整个分娩过程中一直跟我说话。
结果，叶慈的男友也陪伴她去分娩了。他守在妻子头旁，而没去抢占靠南的观察区座位。这样的陪伴办式我完全赞同。如果配偶进产房作陪，生孩子应当是夫妻共有的经历，而不是伸长脖子看热闹的机会。