在新世纪的今天，再想找个比自己大许多的老公似乎成了老土，因为这是个追求冲击力的年代，安全感已不是第一需求，冷漠的眼神、洁净的肌肤、一绺打散在额角的头发，即便不如王菲找个小自己十一岁的靓仔谢霆锋，但找个酷弟弟回家疼的现象却越来越普遍了。姐也罢，弟也好，只要出自真爱，都值得祝福，其实还是那句话：只有你自己知道，你到底想要什么！
older women dating younger men
madonna's doing it; so are demi moore and susan sarandon. they're all older women who are dating or are married to men much younger than they are. and it's a trend that's growing among the not-so-famous too. let's check out more with huangrui.
reporter:
sixty-two-year-old hollywood actor susan sarandon's long-term partner is 50-year-old actor, director, producer and screenwriter tim robbins. their 12-year age gap doesn't appear to be a problem. demi moore is another trend-setting older woman with a younger man. the 46-year-old star of films such as ghost and indecent proposal is married to fellow actor ashton kutcher. he's 31, meaning there's a 15-year gap between man and wife.
younger men are increasingly the partners of choice for a growing number of women who stay attractive and youthful as the years go by. while mature women have been perceived in the past as withdrawing from the dating world, today more are seen as sexy, experienced, independent and interesting, the perfect match for a handsome young mate. men are happy about the change, and many find mature women sexy, sassy and more interesting than women in their 20 or 30s.
couples like francesca gentille, 52, and tahil gesyuk, 38, are at the forefront of the movement to make older woman-younger man matches more accepted. gentille, a relationship coach, cautions that there are both prizes and pitfalls to this type of match.
"with an older woman-younger man combination, there are gifts and challenges. some of the gifts - we can give them a sense of grounded-ness and purpose, mentoring of their dreams. they can give us a sense of vitality and joy and exploration. there are two types of younger men - the younger man that's mainly looking for that erotic exploration, and the younger man that's looking for that as well as something more deep. if we match them - mwah - if we don't, could be problems."
geskyuk, who has interviewed over 1,000 couples in his career in intimacy counseling, thinks that a younger man has a lot to gain from a relationship with a more mature mate.
"so i think three reasons why a younger man would want to date an older woman is one, is it's a grounded, stable relationship, not just a roll in the hay. number two, is that if they're not interested in having children at this point in time, dating a woman in her forties or fifties might be a viable idea. and three, i think there's a sense of maturating sassiness, and sexiness to an older woman that, where she starts to own her sexuality."
while men have looked for younger mates for ages, the idea of older women dating younger men has traditionally been almost taboo. in america, women who seek this type of relationship have gotten the nickname "cougar," which is often used pejoratively. but now, women are taking control of their new found youth and giving the term a positive angle.
for china drive, i'm huangrui.
一些专家在其所进行的调查中发现，女大男小的婚姻具有相对的稳定性，女性将能获得较为圆满的婚姻结局。这可能主要与其在结婚之初便经过认真的思考，往往是在确定了真正是因为相互需要才最终结合的原因有关。因为在世人的眼里，这种结合是不智的。起码女方和男方的父母在听到这一消息时就会反复以自身的经验启发、开导其儿女：这种情况不合传统。一般男的比女的要老得慢，到时候生理和心理都可能出问题——然而真正走出了这一门槛的夫妇，他们对自己的婚姻往往进行一系列的琢磨，在其后遇到问题时的心理承受能力则要强得多。
一个女人如果只是想不花费努力，无需操劳，轻易过上衣食丰足的生活的话，那么她应该找个年长的、把一切都准备妥了（当然这其中有好坏之分）的男人，尽享自己的人生。年轻的男人属于不满足现状、充满自信的那些女人。