英语美文点亮智慧人生16：How to Find True Love 如何发现真爱（MP3+双语字幕）

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[00:00.00]I began to learn about love	我11岁在一所舞蹈学校上学时
[00:11.30]in dancing school, at age 11	开始对爱有所了解。
[00:14.49]remember thinking on the first day	记得去学校的第一天我就在想，
[00:17.30]I was going to fall madly in love with one of the boys	自己将疯狂地爱上某个男孩子，
[00:21.46]and spend the next years of my life	并与他在亲吻、
[00:24.28]kissing and waltzing.	华尔兹中度过接下来的时光。
[00:25.72]During class,however,	在课堂上，
[00:29.34]I sat among the girls,	我坐在一群女孩子中，
[00:31.28]waiting for a boy to ask me to dance.	等着男孩来邀我跳舞。
[00:34.54]To my complete shock,	然而令我完全震惊的是，
[00:37.41]I was consistently one of the last to be asked.	我总是最后一个被邀请的。
[00:41.34]At first I thought the boys had made a terrible mistake.	起初我认为是男孩子的严重失误：
[00:46.61]I was so funny and pretty,	我如此风趣如此可爱，
[00:49.19]and I could beat everyone I knew at tennis	打网球胜过所有我认识的人，
[00:52.65]and climb trees faster than a cat.	爬起树来比猫还要快，
[00:55.24]Why didn't they dash toward me?	他们为什么不争先恐后地冲过来邀请我吗？
[00:57.92]Yet class after class,	一堂又一堂课，
[01:00.89]I watched boys dressed in blue blazers	我看着那些穿着蓝色运动上衣
[01:04.12]and gray pants head toward	和灰色裤子的男孩一头扎向
[01:06.82]girls in flowered shifts	那些穿着花边衬衫的女孩子，
[01:09.13]whose perfect ponytails swung back and forth like metronomes.	她们漂亮的马尾辫有节奏地晃来晃去。
[01:14.23]They fell easily into step with one another in a way	他们的舞步总是很合拍，
[01:18.65]that was completely mysterious to me.	这完全让我感到不可思议。
[01:21.27]I came to believe that	我开始相信，
[01:23.23]love belonged only to those who glided,	爱只属于那些优雅文静的女孩子，
[01:26.11]who never shimmied up trees	而不会像我这样晃悠着爬树
[01:28.89]or even really touched the ground.	甚至重重摔在地上的女孩。
[01:31.60]By the time I was 13,	13岁时，
[01:34.41]I knew how to subtly tilt my head	我已经学会了如何巧妙地仰起头，
[01:37.97]and make my tears fall back into ray eyes,	将眼泪忍住，
[01:41.11]instead of down my cheeks,	不让它们流下颊
[01:43.38]when no one asked me to dance.	在没人请我跳舞时。
[01:45.86]I also discovered the “powder room”,	我还发现了“化妆室”，
[01:49.25]which became my softly lit,	那里灯光柔和，
[01:51.93]reliable retreat.	成了我可靠的躲避之处。
[01:53.41]Whenever I started to cry,	每次我要哭的时候，
[01:56.40]I'd excuse myself and run in there.	就借故跑到那里去。
[01:59.24]I finally stopped crying when I met Matt,	后来我遇见了马特，终于不再哭泣。
[02:03.31]who was quiet and hung out on the edges of the room.	他静静地出现在房间的一边。
[02:07.81]When we danced for the first time,	我们第一次跳舞时，
[02:10.37]be wouldn't even look at me in the eyes.	他甚至不敢正视我。
[02:13.17]But he was cute,	但是他很可爱，
[02:14.71]and he told great stories.	而且会讲很多好听的故事。
[02:16.84]We became good buddies,	我们成了好朋友，
[02:19.80]dancing every dance together until the end of school.	每次都一起跳舞，这样一直到毕北。
[02:23.15]I learned from him my most important	从他那儿我学到了有关恋爱的
[02:27.36]early lesson about romance:	最重要的早期课程：
[02:29.50]that the potential for love exists in comers,	爱的可能性无处不在，
[02:33.39]in the most unlikely as well as the most obvious places.	既在最显眼之处，也在最不起眼的地方。
[02:38.39]For years my love life continued to be	多年来，我的爱情生活一直
[02:41.99]one long tragic-comic novel.	就像一部悲喜相交的长篇小说。
[02:45.10]In college I fell in love with	上大学时，我爱上了英语系
[02:47.88]a tall English major who rode a motorcycle.	一个骑摩托车的高个子男孩，
[02:51.10]He stood me up on our sixth date	我们约好一天下午去跳伞，
[02:54.72]--an afternoon of sky diving.	那是我们的第六次约会，他失约了。
[02:57.21]I jumped out of the plane alone	我只好独自从飞机上跳下，
[03:00.26]and Landed in a parking lot.	降落在一个停车场上。
[03:02.29]In my mid-20s I moved to New York City	二十四五岁时，我搬到了纽约。在那里，
[03:06.30]where love is as hard to find as a legal parking spot.	找寻真爱如同找一个合法的泊车位一样困难，
[03:10.53]My first Valentine's Day there,	在纽约的第一个情人节，
[03:13.26]I went on a date to a crowed bar on the Upper West Side.	我前往西区一间拥挤的酒吧赴约，
[03:17.82]Halfway through dinner,	晚餐吃了一半，
[03:19.47]my date excused himself and never returned.	我的约会对象借故离席后，再也没有回来。
[03:22.95]At the time I lived with a beautiful roommate.	当时与我同住的是个漂亮女孩，
[03:26.86]Flowers piled up at our door like snowdrifts,	门口的鲜花多得像雪堆，
[03:30.47]and the light on the answering machine always blinked in a panicky way,	录音电话上的指示灯疯狂地闪个不停，
[03:35.89]overloaded with messages from her admirers.	里面录满了爱慕她的人的留言。
[03:39.62]Limousines purred outside,	豪华轿车停在外面，
[03:42.28]with dates waiting for her behind tinted windows.	遨她赴约的人在有色玻璃车窗后等待着她。
[03:45.76]In my mind,	在我的脑海里，
[03:47.34]love was something behind a tinted window,	爱情就像是有色玻璃后的某种东西，
[03:50.48]part apparition, part shadow, definitely unreachable.	半隐半现，难以企及。
[03:55.19]Whenever I spotted happy-looking couples,	每当我看到一对对脸上洋溢着幸福的情侣，
[03:58.54]I'd wonder where they found love,	我就想问问他们是如何找到真爱的，
[04:01.26]and want to follow them home for the answer.	并想跟随他们一起回家，探个究竞。
[04:04.15]After a few years in the city	在纽约待了几年之后，
[04:07.92]I got my dream job	我终于得到了自己梦寐以求的工作
[04:09.86]--writing about weddings for a magazine called 7 Days.	为一个名为《七日谈》的杂志写婚礼报道。
[04:14.20]I had to find interesting engaged couples	我的任务就是寻找一些有趣的订了婚的情侣，
[04:17.76]and write up their love stories.	并将他们的爱情故事写出来。
[04:20.34]I got to ask total strangers the things	这使我终于有机会向那些陌生人
[04:23.28]I'd always wanted to know.	打听我一直想知道的事情。
[04:25.68]I found out at least one sure answer to the question	我发现至少有一个确切的答案可以回答
[04:29.45]"How do you know it's love?"	“你怎么知道这是爱？”这个问题。
[04:31.72]You know when the everyday things surrounding you	你会知道当你周围一些原来平常的东西，
[04:34.83]--the leaves, the shade of light in the sky, a bowl of strawberries	像树叶、天空中的光影、一碗草莓，
[04:40.18]--suddenly shimmer with a kind of unreality.	忽然间蒙上了一层梦幻的色彩。
[04:43.57]You know when the tiny details about another person,	一个人的某些方面在大多数人
[04:48.72]ones that are insignificant to most people,	看来可能是微不足道的，
[04:52.10]seem fascinating and incredible to you.	但对恋爱中的人来说却是迷人而奇妙的。
[04:55.44]One groom told me	一位新郎曾告诉我，
[04:58.14]he loved everything about his future wife,	他爱未婚妻的一切，
[05:00.53]from her handwriting to the way she scratched on their apartment door like a cat when she came home.	从她的字体到她回家时像猫一样挠门的习惯。
[05:07.17]One bride said she fell in love with her fiance because	有一位新娘爱上她的未婚夫则是因为
[05:12.13]"one night, a moth was flying around a light bulb,	“有一晚，一只飞蛾在灯泡周围飞来飞去，
[05:16.40]and he caught it and let it out the window.	他捉住了它，然后将它从窗户放了出去。
[05:18.92]I said,'That's it.	当时我想：‘没错，
[05:20.62]He's the guy.'"	他就是我要找的人。’”
[05:21.90]You also know it's love	当你们滔滔不绝地相互倾诉时，
[05:25.57]when you can't stop talking to each other.	你也会知道那就是爱。
[05:27.84]Almost every couple I've ever interviewed said that	我采访过的情侣几乎每一对都说，
[05:32.30]on their first or second date,	他们在第一次或第二次约会时，
[05:33.91]they talked for hours and hours.	一谈就是几个小时。
[05:36.40]For some,	对一些人来说，
[05:37.82]falling in love is like walking into a soundproof confessional booth,	坠入爱河就像是走进一间隔音的忏悔室，
[05:42.53]a place where you can tell all.	在那里你可以倾诉一切。
[05:44.93]Finding love can be like discovering a gilded ballroom	找到爱情就像是在你昏暗公寓的另一边，
[05:50.12]on the other side of your dingy apartment,	发现了一个豪华舞厅：
[05:52.81]and at the same time like finding a pair of great old blue jeans	同时又像是找到了一条非常合身
[05:57.72]that are exactly your size	而且仿佛你已经穿了很久的
[06:00.50]and seem as if you've worn them forever.	质地很好的蓝色旧牛仔裤。
[06:02.92]I can't tell you how many women have told me	我无法说清究竟有多少女人告诉过我，
[06:08.00]they knew they were in love	她们确信自己在恋爱，
[06:09.64]because they forgot to wear makeup around their boyfriend.	因为她们在男友面前忘记了化妆：
[06:13.27]Or because they felt at ease	或者因为穿着法兰q的睡衣
[06:15.64]hanging around him in flannel pajamas.	在他身边晃来晃去也觉得很自在。
[06:18.81]There's some modern truth	灰姑娘的故事即使在现代，
[06:20.79]to Cinderella's tale	也有其真实性：
[06:22.29]--it's love when you're incredibly comfortable,	那肯定就是爱，当你感到无比惬意时，
[06:25.29]when the shoe fits perfectly.	当那双舞鞋恰恰合你的脚时，
[06:27.69]Finally,	最后一点，
[06:28.87]I think you're in love	如果你们在最糟的时候，
[06:30.79]if you can make each other	还能使对方开心地发笑，
[06:32.82]laugh at the very worst times	那你们就是在相爱。比方说，
[06:34.69]--when the IRS is auditing you	在国内收入署审查你的账目的时候，
[06:37.52]or when you are driving a convertible in a rainstorm	在暴风雪中开着敞篷车的时候，
[06:41.43]or when your hair is turning gray.	或者当你的头发变灰白的时候。
[06:44.21]As someone once told me,	正如有人曾告诉我的那样，
[06:46.42]90 percent of being in love	爱情让恋爱中的人感到生活
[06:49.18]is making each other's life funnier and easier,	百分之九十都是轻松有趣的，
[06:53.25]all the way to the deathbed.	直到生命的终结。
[06:55.65]Seven years ago	7年前，
[06:58.96]I started writing about love and weddings	我开始为《纽约时报》的“誓言”
[07:02.19]for The New York Times in a column called "Vows".	专栏写关于恋爱和婚姻的报道。
[07:06.18]And now that I have been on this beat for so long,	由于我从事这一行北很长时间，
[07:10.68]a strange thing has happened: I'm considered an expert on love.	竟发生了一件怪事:我被人看成是爱情专家。
[07:16.77]The truth is,	事实上，
[07:18.16]love is still mostly a mystery to me.	爱情对我来说仍旧是一个谜。
[07:21.96]The only thing I can confidently say is this:	我唯一能自信地说的就是:
[07:25.85]Love is as plentiful as oxygen.	爱情就像氧气一样丰富。
[07:29.85]You don't have to be thin,	为了得到它，你不需要有苗条的身材、
[07:32.30]naturally blond, super-successful,	天生的金发、巨大的成就、
[07:35.18]socially connected,	良好的社会关系、
[07:37.00]knowledgeable about politics or even particularly charming to find it.	渊博的政治知识甚至富有魅力。
[07:42.48]I've interviewed many people who were down on their luck in every way	我采访过许多遭受各种厄运的人:
[07:49.52]--a ballerina with chronic back problems,	患上慢性背疾的芭蕾舞女演员，
[07:52.82]a physicist who had been on 112 (he counted) disastrous blind dates,	与112(据他自己数）个从未谋面的人
[08:01.19]a clarinet player	有过失败的约会的物理学家，
[08:03.15]who was a single dad	一位几乎付不起房租
[08:05.90]and could barely pay the rent.	又是单身父亲的单簧管吹奏者…
[08:06.95]But love, when they found it,	但是当他们找到真爱时，
[08:09.51]brought humor, candlelight,	爱情就会把幽默、烛光、
[08:12.30]home-cooked meals, fun, adventure,	家常便饭、乐趣、冒险精神、
[08:16.80]poetry and long conversations into their lives.	诗歌和畅谈融入他们的生活。
[08:20.34]When people ask me where to find love,	当人们问我在哪里能找到真爱时，
[08:23.80]I tell a story about one of my first job interviews.	我就会给他们讲我第一次工作面试时的故事。
[08:28.25]It was with an editor	当时面试我的是一家
[08:30.12]at a famous literary magazine.	著名文学杂志社的一名编辑。
[08:32.80]I had no experience or skills,	那时，我没有任何经验和技巧，
[08:35.56]and he didn't for one second consider hiring me.	他也根本没有想要雇用我，
[08:40.21]But he gave me some advice I will never forget.	但他给我提了一些让我终生难忘的建议。
[08:43.99]He said, "Go out into the world.	他说:“到社会中去，
[08:47.15]Work hard and concentrate on what you love to do, writing.	集中精力努力做好你想做的事――写作。
[08:52.50]If you become good, we will find you."	如果你做得好，我们会找到你的。
[08:55.74]That's why I always tell people looking for love	这就是为什么我一直告诉那些追求爱情的人，
[08:59.97]to wait for that "I won the lottery" feeling	让他们去等待那种“我中奖了”的感觉，
[09:03.40]--wait, wait, wait!	等待，等待，再等待！
[09:06.70]Don't read articles about how to trap,	你不必去读那些教你如何捕捉、
[09:10.49]seduce or hypnotize a mate.	引诱或使男人着迷的文章，
[09:13.55]Don't worry about	也不必去担心
[09:17.40]your lipstick or your height,	那些诸如口红或身高之类的小事，
[09:18.83]because it's not going to matter.	因为这并不重要。
[09:21.80]Just live your life well,	只要好好生活，
[09:23.43]take care of yourself, and don't mope too much.	照顾好自己，别太忧郁，
[09:27.73]Love will find you.	爱情终会找到你。
[09:29.65]Eventually it even found me.	最终，爱情也找到了我。
[09:32.69]At 28,	28岁那年，在一家文具店，
[09:34.12]I met my husband in a stationery store.	我遇到了现在的丈夫。
[09:37.72]I was buying a typewriter ribbon,	当时，成正在买打字机用的色带，
[09:40.42]and he was looking at Filofaxes.	他则在看备忘记事本。
[09:43.49]I remember that	我还记得，
[09:45.78]his eyes perfectly matched his faded jeans.	他的眼睛与他那条褪色的牛仔裤很相配。
[09:48.91]He remembers that my sneakers were full of sand.	而他则忘不了我那双里面满是沙子的运动鞋。
[09:53.64]He still talks about those sneakers	至今他还说起我那双运动鞋，
[09:56.34]and how they evoked his childhood	并且说它们是如何唤起了他对童年的回忆
[09:58.65]--bonfires by the ocean,	――海边的篝火，
[10:01.00]driving on the sand in an old jeep	驾着老式吉普车在沙滩上兜风――
[10:03.85]--all those things that he cherished.	所有这些都是他最珍贵的回忆。
[10:06.28]How did I know that it was true love?	我怎么知道这是真爱呢？
[10:09.35]Our first real date lasted for nine hours;	我们第一次真正的约会持续了整整9个小时，
[10:13.23]we just couldn't stop talking.	我们竟有说不完的话！
[10:15.83]I had never been able to dance in my life,	遇到他之前，我从来跳不好舞，
[10:19.55]but I could dance with him,	但我却能和他一起跳，
[10:21.52]perfectly in step.	舞步还非常合拍。
[10:23.60]I have learned that it's love when you finally stop tripping over your toes.	我终于明白，是爱情使我不再绊脚。
[10:29.50]A year after we met, we married.	认识一年后，我们结婚了。
[10:33.10]I have come to cherish writing the "Vows" column.	我开始珍视我所主持的“誓言”专栏。
[10:36.69]With each story I hear, I have proof that	我所听到的每一个故事都向我证实了，
[10:40.97]love, optimism, guts, grace,	爱情、乐观、勇气、风度
[10:44.64]perfect partners and good luck do, in fact, exist.	以及完美的伴侣的确存在。
[10:49.33]Love, in my opinion,	在我看来，爱情不是幻想，
[10:51.86]is not a fantasy, not the stuff of romance novels or fairy tales.	不是浪漫小说和童话故事的素材。
[10:58.23]It's as gritty and real as the subway,	爱就像地铁一样执着而真实，
[11:01.68]it comes around just as regularly,	就像地铁一样会按时来到，
[11:04.36]and as long as you can stick it out on the platform,	只要你坚持在月台上等待，
[11:07.95]you won't miss it.	你就不会错过它。

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英语美文点亮智慧人生16：How to Find True Love 如何发现真爱（MP3+双语字幕）