During my two years here at Cracked, I've fought against irresponsible romantic advice publishing on five different occasions:,,,,. I won every single time. I held those books down and beat them until they knew it was their fault, and it was all training for this final boss battle against sex's greatest enemy: bestselling romance author and speaker, Gregory J.P. Godek.
Godek was an illegal bioweapons project by bitter, unlaid scientists to create a G.enetic O.rganism D.esigned for E.rection K.illing. G.O.D.E.K. throws out dating advice in the same way your body might throw out three pounds of uncooked meat. He thinks the idea of buying your girlfriend a pizza is enough content for three books. On Halloween, G.O.D.E.K. doesn't give out candy -- he gives children tips on keeping their marriage spontaneous with heart balloons and back massage coupons. And speaking of children, the following four books were printed on their flattened and dried remains:
#4.