Our mothers’ wise words have had a big influence on our love lives, but not nearly as much as the love advice we received from those other wise women from childhood, the Disney princesses. Ariel taught us that guys dig long legs, Cinderella showed us how to get a guy to chase us (not to mention the importance of a pedicure), and Snow White made sure we knew it was okay to sleep in a house full of seven men as long as you didn’t actually do anything. Embark with us on a journey to a faraway land of fairytale love where we decode the love lessons from each princess and show just how sensible these love lessons are.
Cinderella Teaches Us the Right Way to Play Hard to Get
Playing hard to get is as easy as turning a pumpkin into a carriage. If that sounds challenging, just follow in Cinderella’s pedicured footsteps. First to give him a hint of where to find you, leave your Manolo Blahnik pump at the club. That way, he can look for you all over the city, and be heartbroken every time some girl’s foot doesn’t fit the slipper you left behind. Oh, and not to mention that it’s a sure way to verify his devotion to you; how can you refuse a guy who has touched hundreds of women’s dirty feet just to get to you? Then, you should probably marry the man who you just met since his committed search for you is proof alone that you will have a happy, long lasting, faithful marriage. As long as you don’t mind that your new husband has a raging foot fetish, you’ll truly live happily ever after.
Belle Teaches Us That You Can Change Your Man into Whatever You Want Him to Be
No matter how much of a monster he was before you met him, he just needs the love a good woman to turn him into Prince Charming. If you’re having trouble getting your boyfriend to even change his dirty socks, it just means you’re not trying hard enough. A sparkly gold dress might help.
Snow White Teaches Us How to Sleep Around And Still Get Prince Charming
Want to make a man fall head over heels in love with you? Use the jealousy card! Stumble upon a cottage that is inhabited with seven men and stay there while your boyfriend wanders around looking for you. When he finds out that you shared a home with seven other dudes, and didn’t take part in an orgy, he’ll just be dying to kiss you and sweep you off your feet.
Ariel Teaches Us the Importance of Body Language
Forget what you’ve read about communication being the key to a lasting relationship. Ariel proved that all you need is hot bod, lovable quirks like brushing your hair with a fork, and a bunch of helpful friends to do the talking and relationship-coaching for you. After all, true love’s kiss can solve everything from romantic woes to missing vocal chords.
Jasmine Teaches Us It’s Okay to Talk to Strangers (and Thieves)
If you are greeted by a man in shabby clothes covered in dirt, definitely allow him to lead you down all sorts of dark alleys and abandoned buildings. If he has a pet monkey, even better! Always trust a man whose best friend is a wild animal. It shows he has a nurturing side.