The Less-Stress Family Vacation: Traveling With Kids

Vacations are what keep us going: fantasies of sunny, sandy beaches on rainy, gray days when the kids are bouncing off the walls; touring a tranquil museum instead of listening to your boss barking in the next office; hiking a mountain rather than sitting in rush-hour traffic.

But vacations, by their nature, are also an upheaval -- an interruption of the familiar flow of people, places and routines. That's why adults find travel exciting -- and why it can be hard on kids. Most children thrive on routine. They're always up for adventure, of course, but don't necessarily know how to handle themselves in the midst of it. To ensure that your next vacation is low on stress and disappointment and high on enjoyment, you've got to take careful stock of your family's strengths, weaknesses, dreams and realities.

Just Whose Vacation Is It?
The first planning hurdle is to accept that this isn't just your vacation -- there are other people to consider. Of course your interests are important, but so, too, are the ages and stages of your kids, and how many headaches you really want to endure. Before you settle on a destination, consider these kid-travel facts and frustrations.

Travel With Infants
Babies are surprisingly adaptable travel companions. They're (mostly) happy to go wherever you go, and they love looking around at people, animals, bright lights and other babies, so you don't have to do a lot to keep them occupied. Comfortable in strollers or backpack carriers, they can easily travel along city streets or park trails, and they can fall asleep just about anywhere, allowing you to continue sightseeing when they can't keep their eyes open.

The biggest drawback to traveling with infants is the mind-boggling array of gear and accessories they require and the frequency with which they must sleep and eat. While it's a logistical challenge to make plans that fit around your infant's routines, it's a fact that sticking to regular eating and sleeping patterns will dramatically increase your chances of keeping your baby happy and contented. However, it's also a fact that as soon as you get used to one routine, your baby will attempt to foil your plans by developing a new one. So be sure to create an itinerary that's flexible. You might all go to a museum in the morning, but if your baby starts to balk, be prepared to go back to the hotel. If he's doing well, stay in town for lunch. You might then plan to sit by the pool for most of the afternoon or arrange for the adults to split up for a couple of hours -- one staying with the baby and the other enjoying a solo activity or special time with an older child. If you use this approach, you'll likely have fewer problems than if you choose an itinerary that locks you into a full day's activities, hours away from your accommodations.

If you're going to be flying to and from your destination, consider your baby's sleep schedule. If your baby is a good sleeper, fly during nap time. Your baby will sleep through most of the flight, won't notice changes in ear pressure, and will be well rested and cheerful when you arrive at your destination. If, however, your baby is unlikely to sleep in the midst of so much noise and action book flights for the longest stretch between naps, trying to leave the house immediately after a nap, so your baby will be in a good mood on the plane.

Contrary to popular belief, beach vacations are not the best choice for families with infants: Strong sun and babies don't mix -- and if having to keep a child indoors forces parents to spend a good part of the day away from the sun, sand and water, they can feel shortchanged. There's also the issue of sand: Older, more mobile babies and toddlers who are prone to putting things in their mouths will be a challenge.

As for those other popular destinations -- theme parks -- you should probably postpone this kind of trip if you've got an infant in tow unless you also have older children who are far more likely to enjoy the rides and exhibitions these parks offer.

So what does work? City vacations are ideal. You can visit museums, art galleries, zoos, cafes, even shopping malls when you have an infant safely secured in a stroller or backpack carrier. You can also take boat tours or check out marketplaces. Other suitable vacation choices are: resorts, hotels and ranches with infant-care programs; car trips, camping or travel in a recreational vehicle; and visits to relatives.

Ages 1 Through 4
Taking a family vacation with toddlers and preschoolers is one of those classic good news/bad news situations. The bad news is that this can be the most difficult age group to travel with. Young kids are notoriously difficult to keep restrained, prone to embarrassing temper tantrums, capable of getting lost in a flash, and exhausting to themselves and their parents.

The good news is that children in this age group are charming, enthusiastic and insatiably curious -- they delight in the smallest things. Those are the attributes of an excellent traveler, and vacationing with toddlers and preschoolers is more often than not a wonderful gift to adults. It takes a little bit of work, though, so your first job as tour leader is to slow down. If you take the time to view the world through your child's eyes instead of trying to get your child to view it through yours, everyone will invariably be happier.

Young children often have difficulty keeping still and focusing for extended periods, which means that long travel days and an itinerary packed with too many activities requiring quiet, attentive behavior (eating out, some museum visits, and shopping, for example) don't work. Yet this age group does very well when scheduled activities are short in duration and allow for plenty of movement and time to investigate and ask questions. Activities that take advantage of a young child's natural sense of curiosity and wonder -- hands-on museums, nature walks, zoos and farms -- are ideal.

If you're traveling by car, try to keep the driving time each day to a minimum and stop frequently to let the kids run around. One way to make travel days fun is to arrive at your hotel or campsite early enough each day so that there's still time for the family to do something together -- splash in the pool, take a long walk, play a game -- before the requirements of dinner and bedtime crop up. When you schedule flights, take your kids' daily patterns into account as you would with an infant, so they're less likely to be tired and irritable.

Safety is another big issue with kids in this age group. They're fast, they're small and they're oblivious to their limitations, which means some environments pose major threats to their well-being. Crowds, water, traffic and wilderness areas are just a few. If your ideal vacation involves travel to such problematic areas, you should weigh the issues. Is the destination so terrific in other ways that it's worth being on the alert throughout the vacation? Do you have enough adults in your group (your partner, relatives, friends) to split watch times? Can you minimize the dangers by taking preventive measures? A stroller, for example, keeps a toddler safe at a crowded theme park; a Coast Guard-approved flotation device is literally a lifesaver for children around water.

If you're set on an outdoor trip but the hazards and logistics of a back country adventure are too great, scale down the vacation to a stay at an established campground in a national forest or state park. That way you can still enjoy nature but have access to roads, phones and nearby medical facilities.

Ages 5 through 12
This is the easy age. School-age children have the enthusiasm and curiosity of their younger counterparts but are more independent and less labor-intensive for parents. They can appreciate cultural explorations and have the understanding and patience for more in-depth museum exhibits and learning vacations. However, school-age children have definite likes and dislikes; they want to have a say in vacation planning?and they can be very helpful. They like action, entertainment and new friends to keep them occupied.

School-age children have a superabundance of energy but are often not capable of recognizing when they're running out of steam or when they're feeling hungry or cold. Meltdown can happen in a nanosecond, and because children themselves can't figure out causes or preventive measures (such as taking a rest, stopping for lunch, or getting out of the pool or off the ski slopes before turning purple), it's a good idea for someone else to be keeping track of such things.

Among the best vacations for this group are stays at hotels with kids' programs, a smorgasbord of activities and lots of other kids; ranch adventures; llama treks (hiking with llamas that carry packs and gear so you don't have to); family camps; summer programs for families at universities; sports-oriented trips; rafting; cruises; or anything to do with nature. If you've been waiting for your kids to grow up a little before visiting that theme park, wait no longer. Now is the time.