Does this ever happen to you: you get home from work and a family member is talking to you, but you are so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don't even hear them. Then, off in the distance you hear your name being called over and over. You snap out of it, look your family member in the eye and say "What? I'm sorry. What were you saying?" Of course it can happen at the bar with colleagues or out on the golf course or where ever.
The problem is you're not there. Your brain is still at work.
So how do you make a successful transition to home or personal life? What is the magic bullet for disengaging your mind from work and giving all your attention to family, friends, and leisure time? The answer is a combination of tactics of which the underlying ingredients are a little discipline and planning. In addition to not aggravating your family, you will slowly start to see your stress levels decrease if you can successfully deactivate work-mode!
1. Have Set Work Hours and Leisure Hours. This is the first step. You need to have clearly defined boundaries as Jay discussed in a similar article How to Leave Work at Work. It's a matter of discipline, but the following steps should help with that.
2. Close Up Shop 30 Minutes Before "Quitting Time." Set some kind of reminder alarm to notify you 30 minutes before you plan to leave work.
* Use the first 15 minutes to wrap things up. Write down where you left off and what you need to do tomorrow to start up again. Having loose ends tied up will help with allowing your mind to stop thinking about work.
* Use the next 15 minutes to cultivate anticipation of your next activity whether it is going home to relax, play time with your kids, a drink with a colleague, or some other social/leisure activity. The way to do this is to do a little daydreaming about all the things you will enjoy about where you are going next.
3. Mental Warm-up. Get your active mind onto a new challenge. A lot of the time the reason we can't leave work behind is because we enjoy the challenge of it. Give your mind a new challenge to latch onto. Think of new ways to make your next activity fun, rewarding, exciting or whatever will make it enjoyable for you.
4. Physical Warm-up. Let your body lead the way in helping your mind release thoughts of work. Take a 5-10 minute brisk walk or do some stretches for 5 -10 minutes. Focus on your breathing. If walking you might want to listen to music to help shake your mind loose.
5. Unwind the Mind. This can be done before you leave work or first thing when you arrive home. Take 5-15 minutes to do a light meditation. Take some deep breaths where you hold and release on an approximate count ratio of 1:2:4 (In:Hold:Out). Then close your eyes while sitting upright. Focus on resting your eyes, slow even breathing and the intention of "Empty the Mind." You can also use creative visualization such as imagining your work as a little box. Every thing is safe inside the box. Attach a parachute to it. Now imagine letting it go from the top of a sand dune down to the beach below. The parachute will open and the box will land softly in the sand, out of your reach. Tomorrow morning it will be there for you to open up and begin again.
6. Use Active Listening and Active Awareness. When you are with your friends and family after work be sure to look them in the eye when conversing. Be completely present with them through the simple intention to do so. To cultivate active awareness, simply have the intention of noticing little things. Notice colors, details, sounds, temperature, sensations in your body, and more. Do this for a little while and it will help bring your mind into the present.
7. Handling Interrupting Work Thoughts. If the idea is important, it might be worth it to simply capture it in writing so you can move on. Carry some paper with you for times like this and quickly write down the idea. Or call Jott with your cell phone to send yourself a text email via voicemail.
At some point your leisure mind is going to take dominance over your work mind for the evening. At this point it will simply respond to work thoughts with "Bug off!" That's when you'll know you've made the transition successfully.
Here's to your success!
What are your favorite ways to transition from work to play? Please share in the comments!