Smile, jerk! Because if you’re a positive guy, your heart may actually stay healthier longer than if you’re a Grumpy Gus.
Listen up, sad sacks! A new Harvard study claims that adopting a positive outlook on life can protect you from a heart attack or stroke. And considering close to 600,000 people die from heart disease each year — sorry, forget we said that and LOOK AT THE SMILING CAT! — being happy is something we should probably all try to do more of.
Of course, that’s easier said that done. These days it’s easy to think of things that suck — paying taxes, getting older, the fact that poor Oprah is having so much trouble with her TV network — so we came up with a few suggestions for things to feel happy about …
• Awesome cars
• When the the underdog actually wins
• When you win free stuff
• Colombian hookers
• All the goofy things the candidates said during the primaries
• The fact that the primaries are over. (Sorry, Newt.)
• Day drinking
• Saying, “I’m too old for this sh!t.” Because it’s always funny.
• Mocking people who are bad at sports
• Van Halen’s reunion tour.
• Hot chicks with Australian accents
• Hot chicks who have other accents … or no accents … basically, just hot chicks in general
• RoboCop