Jesus, you people are freaky. Your favorite position is doggy style -- what of the serene and wonderful missionary!? -- you cheat on your partner, and you've had sex with a stranger. Either Tiger Woods hacked our mainframe, or our readers' sex lives are far wilder than our own.
More than 2,000 of you filled out the Miami New Times Sex Survey. The comprehensive results will be published in next week's "Sex Issue," along with articles on all things naked, romping, and downright stank.
In the meantime, here are the few of the results. Thank you, readers, for being so... Miami-tastic.
Have you ever had a threesome? A whopping 43 percent said yes. Uncle Luke, how many times did you vote?
What type of porn do you prefer? One-one-one: 27 percent. Girl-on-girl: 20 percent. Gay: 4 percent. Fetish: 7 percent Solo: 5 percent. Amateur: 18 percent. Fantasy/role-playing: 8 percent. BDSM: 4 percent. Other: 7 percent.
How do you obtain your porn?
Online, legally: 47 percent
Online, illegally: 32 percent (those people should probably read this story)
Adult store: 6 percent
Other: 15 percent
Have you ever hired an escort or prostitute? No: 75 percent. Yes: 25 percent.
How did you look for the service?
On the streets: 16.5 percent
Printed listings: 25.5 percent
Online: 31.5 percent
Other: 26.5 percent
We want to know more about "other."