"I was holed up inBoring, Oregon, wondering whether I should try someplace different. So I hopped in my car and drove toWhy, Arizona, to figure things out. After a few days I found my answer inWhynot, Mississippi: I needed a town with some life to it. I made a beeline forDisco, Tennessee, where I danced so much, I wore out my shoes. The next day, I headed toLoafers Glory, North Carolina, for a new pair..."
"Afterward I looked sharp enough to take a break inHandsome Eddy, New York. Eddy wasn't around, but I knew where to find him—inLoveladies, New Jersey, where it seemed that all the women were trying to get toHusband, Pennsylvania..."
"It was a tough town. One gal told me my romancing needed work and sent me toSweet Lips, Tennessee. Heartbroken, I put the car on cruise control and drove toLonelyville, New York, for a stiff drink. I made a pit stop inThe Bottle, Alabama, and finally hit rock bottom inCondemned Bar, California. Not surprisingly, I woke up the next morning inCranky Corner, Louisiana. I knew that if I continued like this, I'd be headed straight to …Hell, Michigan..."
"Pulling myself together, I grabbed breakfast inOatmeal, Texas, lunch inSandwich, Massachusetts, and dessert inPie Town, New Mexico. I should've stopped eating afterGreasy, Oklahoma, because I was feeling pretty sick by the time I leftLick Skillet, Tennessee..."
"InBrilliant, Ohio, it finally dawned on me—I had to cease my wandering ways. I parked inDo Stop, Kentucky, took out the map, and chose my new home. I didn't needWealthy, Texas, orFame, West Virginia. I found everything I needed inHappyland, Oklahoma."