When scouring the internet for the weirdest nuggets of twisted for you, the Fork Party reader, sometimes we happen across a headline that brings reality to a screeching halt. What you are about to read is one of these tales. The People’s Republic of China is a far off and exotic land. Throughout the centuries, the Chinese have given the world some seriously special wonders. They built The Great Wall. They have brought us groundbreaking and mind-blowing cuisine. And who can forget our special giant little man, Lu Hao? Yes, China definitely continues to leave it’s mark on the world. Not to be outdone by any country, China is now home to a farmer that claims that one of his sheep gave birth to a dog.
Fugu County is home to a farmer named Liu. Liu says he was kickin’ it one day, doing some farmer stuff when he noticed a sheep licking a freshly born lamb. He then goes on to tell how he noticed something modern science says is an impossibility. He noticed that the lamb was extremely weird looking, and in fact was a dog. He says that the dog-sheep creature actually frightened him at first… which is hilarious. This twisted beast is said to have the wool of a sheep and the facial features, legs and ass-end of a dog. When you think of awesome animal amalgams, you ponder on the awesomeness of a croco-tiger, or a bear-vulture… even a beaver-shark would be kinda cool-BUT A DOG-SHEEP… pretty weak nature!
What kind of powers does that give this monster? He has the incredible ability to self-warm and bark annoyingly? Dog-sheep you truly are a disgrace. It would be fun though if Liu started fighting crime with the dog-sheep. By day he is Liu, mild mannered Chinese farmer. By night he is THE TRACTOR. With his trusty dog-sheep freak animal armed with laser cannons and a jet-pack, The Tractor descends upon China to let loose his itchy brand of justice upon the crime infested streets of Fugu County. He is said to encase criminals in an unbreakable and flea-covered wool-spun from right off Dog-sheep’s back. Flee the city evil-doers… with a mighty BAAAAAH Dog-sheep looks up at the moon, fires up his jet-pack and prepares himself for a long thankless night of righting wrong.
Feel the warm snuggle of freedom’s right paw. Dog-sheep and Liu will not rest until all you criminals find yourselves behind bars!